Automatic Lover!

Here's what $7,000 can buy you in a few months:

Powered by a computer under her soft silicone "skin," [Roxxxy] employs voice-recognition and speech-synthesis software to answer questions and carry on conversations. She even comes loaded with five distinct "personalities," from Frigid Farrah to Wild Wendy, that can be programmed to suit customers' preferences.

"There's a tremendous need for this kind of product," said Hines, a computer scientist and former Bell Labs engineer.

Roxxxy won't be available for delivery for several months, but Hines is taking pre-orders through his Web site, TrueCompanion.com, where thousands of men have signed up.

...

A motor in her chest pumps heated air through a tube that winds through the robot's body, which Hines says keeps her warm to the touch. Roxxxy also has sensors in her hands and genital areas -- yes, she is anatomically correct -- that will trigger vocal responses from her when touched. She even shudders to simulate orgasm.

...

"Everything you say to her is processed. It's very near real time, almost without delay," Hines said of the dynamics of human-Roxxxy conversation. "To make it as realistic as possible, she has different dialogue at different times. She talks in her sleep. She even snores." (The snoring feature can be turned off, he says.)

Roxxxy understands and speaks only English for now, but Hines' True Companion company is developing Japanese and Spanish versions. For an extra fee, he'll also record customizable dialogue and phrases for each client, which means Roxxxy could talk to you about NASCAR, say, or the intricacies of politics in the Middle East. [LINK]

The Most Immoral Scam Ever?

Link.

"They are in use everywhere from Thailand to Pakistan and Lebanon."

This is unbelievable. Watch the video, there's nothing extra in the article.

PS3 Owners Rejoice!

Link

IPL to be Streamed on YouTube

This will surely put Honcho, Andy, and any other link provider out of business.

Link

Rehan and Bajwa fined over a hug and a beer

Link

NRO Declared Unconstitutional

Front page of DAWN:

ISLAMABAD: The Supreme Court has declared the controversial National Reconciliation Ordinance (NRO) null and void in a short order.

In a landmark decision, the apex court unanimously decided that the ordinance was unconstitutional. All old cases that had been dismissed under the NRO stand revived and can now be reopened as per the court orders. The court said that all orders that were passed and all acquittals under the NRO were illegal and never existed.

The apex court in its order also said that all convictions that were held prior to the enactment of the NRO stand revived as well. Letters made to Swiss courts requesting the withdrawal of cases were also declared unconstitutional.

The Supreme Court asked the government to take action against the former attorney general for making these requests. Presidential Spokesperson Farhatullah Babar called the verdict 'shocking' but said that the government will respect the courts decision. Babar, however, pointed out that the president and the provincial governors enjoyed immunity from legal proceedings under the constitution.


link

Zardari Joke

This one is pretty funny!

Zardari goes on a state visit to Israel. While on tour in Jerusalem, he suffers a heart attack and passes away.

The undertaker tells the accompanying people, 'You can have him shipped home for US$500,000, or you can bury him here, in the Holy Land, for just US$100.'

The Pakistanis go into a corner and discuss for a minute. They come back to the undertaker and tell him they want Zardari shipped home.

The undertaker is puzzled and asks, 'Why would you spend $500,000 to ship him home, when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $100?'

The Pakistanis replied, 'Long ago a man named Jesus died here, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. We just can't take that chance with this man.'

Tuning out the Taliban

An awesome 10 min documentary from an nytimes reporter on pakistan's pop stars' views about the taliban.

After watching this I realized that Ali Azmat is definitely a fucking idiot.
Noori is also in there, so are comments by my new favorite paki journalist: Nadeem Paracha

I admaire yaaar vark

I was feeling down this morning, didn't wanna go into work,
this cheered me up

Pakistani native elected mayor of US mining town

Never thought you'd hear something like this did you???: "Mayor Haroon Saleem of Granite Falls, Washington!"

GRANITE FALLS, Wash. — Granite Falls residents are suspicious of any newcomers, let alone a Muslim native of Pakistan who moved to this rugged, blue-collar mining town to open his own bar.

But 54-year-old Haroon Saleem has thrived, winning over the town with hard work and an easy smile. He has become so popular that, on Nov. 3, he won the mayor's job in a landslide, getting 61 percent of the more than 800 votes cast — a result that residents say would have been inconceivable not long ago.

"In the old Granite Falls, there were no minorities. It was a rough, rough, logging town. Any outsider, whether a minority or somebody from Everett, was the same. It was very difficult to be accepted in this town," said Sharon Ashton, a close confidant of Saleem. [LINK]

A nation of sleepwakers

Nice article on dawn

Pakistanis routinely continue to deny the fact that the monsters who are behind all the faithful barbarism that is cutting this country into bits are the mutant product of what our governments, military, intelligence agencies, and society as a whole have been up to in the past 30 years or so.

Seth MacFarlane is a wise man

Found this funny (very mean, but funny nonetheless)

Reminded me of the road to germany episode, but i couldn't find the right clip on youtube.
This one is funny too:

Can you imagine what native desis would do?

If given this option.

A DBCD (at least her name sounds desi) had this to say:

Nina Ahmed, also 18, adds: "I think it'd be very difficult [to cheat] because you don't have time, you're under pressure, and you have too many tasks."

Now let me see......what did i (along with my desi friends) do when "under pressure" in an exam in school? hmmm, Danish society rocks!

Pakistan-born comic Nanjiani making it big in US

Link

Chal Bulleya

New track from Mekaal Hassan Band, its awesome

Descent into Chaos

I am sure you guys have heard of Ahmed Rashid, a prominent Pakistani journalist who is an expert on Afghanistan & Central Asia. I just finished reading his book, Descent into Chaos

To me it was an eye opener on many accounts and a great summary of what went wrong in Afghanistan, and the general region, before & after 9/11. It has some deep (and sinister) insights into ISI's (and the Army's) political role in Pakistan. Plus some rather interesting analysis on Musharraf and Karzai as well. It becomes especially relevant in context of the "chaos" we see in Pakistan right now.

Like every text, it should be taken with a pinch of salt of course. Those with links to the army will be particularly sensitive to the analysis in the book, though a good chunk of it is backed up by credible facts and even common sense.

Check it out.

As good as new, sister Insha'Allah

I guess there are enough sick, backward bastards in the world who force such a product to exist.

Conservatives in Egypt are in a lather over a new device that promises to simulate the bleeding a virgin bride experiences on her wedding night. Politicians are calling the device an assault on Islamic and Arab values. But some young women say it's the inevitable result of Egypt's double standard when it comes to premarital sex.

The online ad from Gigimo promises women "no more worry," because they can restore their virginity for just $29.95. The ad says the "artificial virginity hymen" fits in the vagina and, upon penetration, oozes a bloodlike liquid.

"Add a few moans and groans and you will pass through undetectable," the Asian Web site promises in its somewhat mysterious English. [LINK]

Here's the actual product.

Domestic abuse in UK........of Asian men

Wonder if there is a market for husband beaters out there....

My wife would wake me up in the middle of the night and beat me, demanding money

Article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/8286744.stm

Masturgate

What can I say, it's a game of bats and balls, both on and off the field apparently!

NEW DELHI, India — Gary Kirsten, the coach of India's cricket team, has some advice for his players:

Have sex before matches, boys. And if no partner is available, then "go solo." It says so, right in the team's training manual leaked to Indian media.

“From a psychological perspective, having sex increased testosterone levels, which causes an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness,” the manual reads in pseudoscientific jargonese. [LINK]

"Loue" Letters

Emails between Pakistani actress Meera and her husband Atiq. Great stuff! I love the reporter's matter-of-fact attitude, especially when he makes a comment on Meera's English:

http://vidpk.com/34304/emails-between-meera-and-atiq-ur-rehmaan/

Belief in God Wired in the Brain

LINK

Changing Lanes

This is pretty interesting. A first for our lifetimes. I guess the cars will have to play catchup (i.e. to switch the side of the steering wheels).

Samoa has become the first country since the 1970s to change the side of the road on which cars are driven.

At 0600 local time (1700GMT) sirens sounded and drivers were told to move from the right side to the left.

The government brought about the change to bring Samoa into line with other South Pacific nations.

A two-day holiday was declared to ease traffic as people got used to the new rules, which faced legal challenges from groups which predicted chaos.

At 0600, Prime Minister Tuilaepa Sailele Lupesoliai Malielegaoi addressed the country on national radio.

"After this announcement you will all be permitted to move to the other side of the road, to begin this new era in our history," the New Zealand Herald quoted him as saying.

Emergency vehicles and government workers were reportedly stationed at every junction and corner but witnesses said the change happened smoothly. [LINK]

Dawn's urban journeys

Not sure if you guys follow this audio-visual section on dawn. Always interesting to hear different people's perspectives on living in Pakistan.

Link

Miss Pakistan 2007

Sometime ago we all had a good laugh at Miss (Canada) Pakistan 2008's expense; her trip to Pakistan, her interview with Nadia Khan, and finally her awesome rebuttal video are probably well remembered on this board. (tagged: "miss pakistan").

Someone who escaped our attention though was Miss Pakistan 2007: Mahleej Sarkari.

Mahleej made the most of her 15 minutes of fame, and soon launched her own

(1) fan club on myspace:

http://www.myspace.com/mahleej_sarkari

(2) a YouTube channel:

http://www.youtube.com/user/msmspromo

(3) an internet reality show:

http://www.spicydivas.ca/

(4) numerous other ventures, including one for cancer awareness (it's hard to tell with all the pictures of her):

http://www.mspromotion.ca/

(5) but she's finally settled down on a career that was her true calling... live webcam pornography and her own internet channel:

http://www.mollywood.ca/

Her entrepreneurial spirit knows no bounds. I hope you enjoyed this journey through her career as much as I did:

Once again, I take this as proof that Canada is the greatest country in the world, and Pakistan has only sent it's best citizens to populate this great nation.

The Dos and Donts of Fasting

So I pick up a Ramzan timetable from a desi store in the area. It's pretty much standard - timings, some prayers, some advertising, etc.

There's also a useful little box on the side which lists things that do and don't break a fast. That's a pretty good idea - some good information conveniently available, since the sheet will probably be placed on the fridge for all to see. Good for the young ones at home who are starting to fast and want to know more about the process.

So let's read the list, first those things that break the fast:

- Eating, drinking, and smoking deliberately
- Intentional vomiting
- Women in the course of menses
- Sexual intercourse or ejaculation of sperm
- Things that go into the interior parts of the body.

I just love the frankness of the second last one. No beating around the bush (no pun intended), just straight to the point. And as for the last one, I have no friggin clue what they are talking about. You are free to imagine! :)

Now, here's where things get more interesting. Let's read the list of things that don't break the fast:

- Eating, drinking, or indulging in sexual relations forgetfully
- Applying eye-drops, water entering in the ears
- Vomiting which is not self-induced
- Smelling anything fragment [sic] with no vapor
- Using miswak/brush to clean the teeth
- Ejaculation during the sleep or imagination

OK, so that last one is awesome. I'm no Islamic expert, but somehow I think that "ejaculation during...imagination" would go against the principles of fasting (e.g. abstinence!). But I guess I was wrong.

I also want to know how people engage in sexual relations "forgetfully." Actually, it does happen. But it usually involves a lot of alcohol, which makes the fast invalid anyway.

So I can jack off, have sex "forgetfully," but I need to avoid smelling air fresheners. Right!

Pakistan reality TV contestant drowns in challenge

I never knew Pakistan had reality TV shows. And that too, to promote a shampoo???

Pretty sad.

ISLAMABAD — A contestant on a Pakistani reality TV show drowned while performing a challenge for the program, a spokeswoman for the show's sponsor said Sunday.

Pakistani contestant Saad Khan, 32, was swimming across a lake while wearing a 15-pound (7-kilogram) backpack when he called out for help and then disappeared underwater, according to Fareshte Aslam, information officer for Unilever Pakistan, the show's sponsor.

Horrified co-contestants and crew rushed to try to save him but could not find him in the murky waters of the lake in the Thai capital of Bangkok, where the show was being filmed, according to Aslam, who was recounting reports of those on the scene.

...

Khan had already been eliminated in the as-yet-unnamed show's previous rounds, but had returned for a special challenge to earn a spot in the finals.

Plans to air the reality show – intended as a promotional tie for Unilever's Clear shampoo – were on hold. Aslam said Unilever Pakistan, a division of the multinational soap and cosmetics maker, was not involved in the production of the show, which was handled by a director and crew from the Indian entertainment capital of Mumbai.

Reality television shows often subject contenders to harsh physical challenges.

In May, a contestant of the Bulgarian version of "Survivor" died of a heart attack while filming on an island in the Philippines. Noncho Vodenicharov, 53, collapsed after finishing an unspecified activity for the contest, Philippine police said. [LINK]

Hmm, wonder what Brown wanted in return for the £665M

This is one of those perfect photos that begs for some "explicit punjabi commentary".......notice where Zardari's right hand is & the look on Browns face, he he :-)

A sad day for this country.

Ted
was a great man... with selfless ambitions...

A modern day 007

That's one big-breasted ninja!

A former spy convicted of fraud in the United Arab Emirates has told how he made a bid for freedom by donning a wetsuit disguised under a burka before diving into the ocean.

...

Jaubert, who designs and builds leisure submarines, then disguised himself in a burka and walked down to the water's edge.

From there, he swam underwater to the nearby coastguard station, on a remote outpost, where he cut the fuel lines on a police patrol boat. He knew it was the only one in the area, and the coast would now be clear.

He then swam back to the beach, got into a Zodiac dinghy and headed back out to sea. Six hours later he was 25 miles off-shore and outside Dubai's territorial waters. Another former French agent met him in a yacht, he claims.

The pair then sailed to Mumbai, India, which took a week. Jaugbert told the French consul that he had lost his passport and was given a new one. [LINK]

Obamas message

All its missing is "...and for those reasons I now proclaim: la ilaha illa allah!"
Fox is not going to happy with this!